I want to be rich.
In actual fact, while there's still money around, driving the system, I want to be wealthy, which is apparently even richer than rich. Here's the thing though - when I visualise this wealth, I'm not imagining an amount of money sitting in a bank with my name attached to it. Why would one need to accumulate what is essentially ones and zeros? No, my wish is to move a lot of money through me and onwards and outwards into the world. It would be a simple system, easy to implement – a million or two arrive in my bank, (let's call it Shakti Bank for fun - a bank without the inherent greed that drives, say Barclays or Lloyds) donated by someone who has a surplus sitting around doing nothing. I then point and say, “Over there, please” and it gets pinged off to where it can serve a useful purpose. I visualise the money flowing like a river, infinite movement of energy, vast amounts at my disposal, setting in motion yet another exciting and worthwhile project or empowering the initiation of some crucial and useful enterprise, run by people with integrity and vision.
One of the main purposes for this money will be to transform peoples' lives for the better and generally make the world a nicer place – not in a Hippyville, flower-power kind of way – more in a 'let's just do something really useful for a change' kind of way. Of course there would be a small, entirely reasonable shopping list of personal items. For example, I would finally be able, every so often to indulge myself, my friends and loved ones in previously unaffordable eateries such as Dans Le Noir or Crazy Bear Fitzrovia...but the bulk of it would be usefully employed in improving the quality of life of all people (and animals) currently residing on planet earth.
Anyway, back to what spurred me on to process and heal what is obviously a psychological obstacle to getting out of the red and into the black. If you want to build an empire, you have to sweep everything out of the way so that the path is clear. Just like the awful but necessary weeding when embarking upon creating a beautiful garden.
Ro and I have a vision which we have carried with us individually throughout our entire lives. When we met we were astonished to find that we shared the same desire. We can see a tantric, eco-spa – seven in fact, around the world. These sanctuaries of healing and love, self-sufficient in every way, will be something utterly new in the world. While we're at it we also want to put a stop to all war, starvation and deprivation on the planet during our lifetime, which I firmly believe is entirely doable and if you've ever had a truly tantric experience you would too.
I'm torn between admiration for what the human race has achieved so far, all the beauty, creativity and growth, and horror for the havoc and devastation we're wreaking on our precious planet and on each other. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a over-worthy do-gooder, particularly. I'm sure any Christian would consider me a selfishly hedonistic Scarlet Woman. I have no delusions about being perfect, by any stretch of the imagination but I do believe that right now, at this point in history everyone could eat well, acquire a decent education and learn how to create for themselves a fulfilling life. I also believe that everyone in the world could be free, spiritually, sexually, psychologically and financially (I can even picture a world running perfectly efficiently without a monetary system at all). Imagine the whole of the human race free from sexual repression, fear, political and religious control, and slavery (especially to a broken financial system). Most people are so brainwashed by the bombardment of daily news (grim, bleak and hopeless news in general) that they can't see beyond doom and gloom. We are being drugged or hypnotised into a state of deep resignation to hopelessness.
But, rising above and beyond all of that, I sincerely believe that everyone is born with the capacity to be happy – it's just that barely anyone is shown how to achieve it.
On my travels I've met a lot of people who claim to know the secret of manifestation. I even met the Dalai Llama once, on a plane – yup, that's how finger-on-the-spiritual-pulse I am! I'm sure you've heard of The Secret – that commercially successful (American), well-marketed (did I mention American?) book and video package that hit the world by storm, educating people on the Universal Law of Attraction for a mere snip at $49.99. Please don't think I'm negating the wisdom and truth of The Secret. I just wonder how many CEOs would claim that they reached success via anything other than sheer hard graft. Nevertheless, one can find hundreds of 'how to' books on the subject of creating the perfect life, and you could fill entire days with meditation practices, hypnotherapy techniques and methods such as NLP and EFT, which purportedly clear away all the obstacles to attaining health, wealth and eternal happiness.
I've been pondering this topic for a while, wondering how I could get the dosh flowing. I'm fortunate to be married to quite a magician. Roland understands alchemical magic (the transformation of base metal into gold – interestingly tantra means the transformation of poisons into nectar) having studied the science of it for a lifetime. In one of the most famous, alchemy grimoires there is a spell to make gold.
So this week, together with our inspired friend, Kata – the High Priestess of Love and Truth - we set about creating the perfect, tantric ritual to clear away my last remaining obstacles to free-flowing abundance. And yes, everyone should try this at home – the only thing you need is the willingness to be surprised. Mind you, this could be said to be true of all tantric meditations – courage to journey into the unknown...and the willingness to be just a little bit loopy.
First of all, we generated some cash. Quite a lot of it in fact, through a series of incredible sessions given to a pilgrim on the path of love, who had made a 10 day visit from abroad, specifically to learn tantra from the three of us – the A-team of Love.
The aesthetic of our temple (this is, in actual fact, just our living room, just in case you were feeling intimidated) is enhanced by an extraordinary rug. It really is a magic carpet, woven by a particular tribe and adorned with special symbols related to the spiritual life. We take flights on it fairly regularly.
Firstly (and this is important) I took off my clothes. Then Kata and Ro took £1400 in twenty pound notes and scattered them over my naked body. I rolled around on the rug for a while, feeling the paper caress me as I undulated and snaked my body over the silky wool of the carpet weave. We turned the music up and my two Shamans, possessed by the money spirits, danced like dervishes around my writhing body.
I let my mind go and became pure sensory awareness. I immersed myself in the smell of money, I drank it in, I became one with it. Kata sensuously rubbed the notes over my skin, and I slithered and moaned in the ecstasy of pure surrender to the infinite potential of this divine substance. I gave myself permission in the dance to become consumed with lust for the money. I allowed myself to revel in the feel of it, the beauty of it, as if each of those twenty pound notes were carrying the essence of pure love. And though I'd heard the phrase “Money is Energy” before, and even understood it intellectually, here in the amplified, sensory overload of the tantric temple, I felt it – the aliveness and power and pure vibration of money, I was drunk on it, I was rich!
After we had descended from the heights of our satori we all looked at each other with eyes open wide...and then burst into peals of laughter. We laughed until we were hurting and then pulled ourselves together to perform the closing part of the ceremony - “Namaste” - I honour the Divine within you. We had witnessed the transformation of the poison of my sullied perception of money to the nectar of my realisation of the true nature of it. The experience had affected all three of us equally and had set us free.
As a postscript to this story, one week after performing this ceremony I was unexpectedly served notice and forced to move out of my long-term home. Strangely, there was no panic, even when I couldn't find another house. We calmly put all our stuff in storage and took to the road. For the last two months we've been travelling, visiting friends and exploring what 'community' means. Stepping off the hamster wheel of survival has given us a new lease on life. We are two grand a month richer through having no bills or rent to pay and are busily clearing debts while skipping forward on the path of freedom. It's the next great adventure of our lives.
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